Eventually has become my favorite word...my lifeline...my anchor. Because right now, right now, really sucks...My life has been going pretty well as of late, and on the outside it would appear I am thriving. I've got a great boyfriend, and when I say great I really mean great, I got a promotion at work, and I am currently studying to get my insurance license...my health is okay (shout to to 3 respiratory infections since February...and I probably have another one right now...thanks Utah air) my family is doing well, as well to be expected with Kevin in Italy and such...but inside my brain, well inside my brain is a different story.
Since about late October, I would say I've been waiting for the shoe to drop per say....my life has been going great, and well great things typically don't last forever for me, and here is something you may or may not know about me...I really struggle with anxiety...and normally I can get a handle on it, have a six month blow up as I like to call it, but this time I couldn't shake it. I wasn't sleeping, I was having panic attacks at work almost everyday, I was having breakdowns in the shower, waking up at 2am in a panic...everyday. The bags under my eyes were designer...and I really couldn't cover them up....things in my personal life kept getting dumped on me, and I was struggling to even stay afloat...
Let me take a quick detour...I know the stigma behind mental health, I get it...but I am also SICK of it...I'm sick of hearing about kids committing suicide because of bullying, I'm sick of people treating others differently because they are on medication to help them stay above the thoughts of not being good enough...these are real struggles...the same way cancer is a real struggle, the same way a cold knocks you on your butt for few days...we don't shun people because of that...so why should we shun those with depression, or anxiety...Kindness is never over-rated, and I hope that whenever I start having kids, I will engrain that in every bone in their body. People will always have it tougher than me and you, but that is why we should always be kind to one another.
Back to what I was talking about...I was struggling, and I mean really struggling...this wasn't something I could just continually shove under the metaphorical rug where I hide things I don't want to take care of...this was me reaching out for a life raft, or trying to at least...this was me trying to keep myself from drowning, because I want to experience life, not just struggle through it. So I went to the doctor. I told her how I was feeling, what was going on, and you know what she said?? That it is totally normal!!!!!! You hear that? It is normal...I wasn't crazy, and I certainly didn't need to be ashamed for asking for help.
So this is me saying...if you are struggling with staying afloat, please reach out for help, it is okay to struggle, everyone does, but it is not okay to suffer...and to those people who may say we are overreacting, or that we need to get over it...please stop. Our feelings are valid just like your's are...but there is no need to respond to someone who may need help, with passiveeagressiveness, or straight meanness...sometimes we just need someone to tell us, it will be okay...eventually.
Please be kind to one another, the world, now more than ever, needs more kindness and love.
Since about late October, I would say I've been waiting for the shoe to drop per say....my life has been going great, and well great things typically don't last forever for me, and here is something you may or may not know about me...I really struggle with anxiety...and normally I can get a handle on it, have a six month blow up as I like to call it, but this time I couldn't shake it. I wasn't sleeping, I was having panic attacks at work almost everyday, I was having breakdowns in the shower, waking up at 2am in a panic...everyday. The bags under my eyes were designer...and I really couldn't cover them up....things in my personal life kept getting dumped on me, and I was struggling to even stay afloat...
Let me take a quick detour...I know the stigma behind mental health, I get it...but I am also SICK of it...I'm sick of hearing about kids committing suicide because of bullying, I'm sick of people treating others differently because they are on medication to help them stay above the thoughts of not being good enough...these are real struggles...the same way cancer is a real struggle, the same way a cold knocks you on your butt for few days...we don't shun people because of that...so why should we shun those with depression, or anxiety...Kindness is never over-rated, and I hope that whenever I start having kids, I will engrain that in every bone in their body. People will always have it tougher than me and you, but that is why we should always be kind to one another.
Back to what I was talking about...I was struggling, and I mean really struggling...this wasn't something I could just continually shove under the metaphorical rug where I hide things I don't want to take care of...this was me reaching out for a life raft, or trying to at least...this was me trying to keep myself from drowning, because I want to experience life, not just struggle through it. So I went to the doctor. I told her how I was feeling, what was going on, and you know what she said?? That it is totally normal!!!!!! You hear that? It is normal...I wasn't crazy, and I certainly didn't need to be ashamed for asking for help.
So this is me saying...if you are struggling with staying afloat, please reach out for help, it is okay to struggle, everyone does, but it is not okay to suffer...and to those people who may say we are overreacting, or that we need to get over it...please stop. Our feelings are valid just like your's are...but there is no need to respond to someone who may need help, with passiveeagressiveness, or straight meanness...sometimes we just need someone to tell us, it will be okay...eventually.
Please be kind to one another, the world, now more than ever, needs more kindness and love.